Beach Party Mummy Transcript -

As of this writing, the most accurate version of the viral sketch transcript is the one printed above. If you are looking for a downloadable .TXT or .SRT file of this document, check the resource box at the top of this page.

[dreamily] She looks just like… [points to Libby]

Uh, did I say we were going to the tanning salon? I meant, uh… the bathroom!

SFX: (Waves wash, music fades, soft applause.) beach party mummy transcript

The gang spends the day playing games, like "Mummy's Treasure Hunt" and "Pin the Eye on the Mummy."

(annoyed) Okay, Neutron, once again, you blew it, big time... (She knocks his head.) Hey, Jumblehead, I'm yelling at you. (Snaps her fingers in front of his face.) Pay attention. What are you looking at? Jimmy: (turning her head) The entrance to the lost tomb of the Queen Hazabataslapya. Sheen: You think there's a bathroom in there? Jimmy: (pushing the doors open) We shall now enter the lost tomb and see what has been unseen for 3,000 years. Cindy: Shouldn't we like, call National Geographic or Harvard? Libby: Or Harrison Ford?

How do your children feel about your lifestyle? As of this writing, the most accurate version

Some things should not see the light of day, for who am I, a mere mortal, to alter the very laws of mortality? [flings the Electro-Life aside]

The episode begins with Jimmy testing his new on Carl’s dead goldfish, Swimmy. When the experiment fails, the gang heads to school, where a mind-numbingly boring documentary on mummies inspires Jimmy to take them to Egypt for a real archaeological adventure. After crashing his hover car, getting caught in a sandstorm, and discovering the hidden tomb of Queen Hasabataslapya , Carl accidentally uses the Electro-Life and awakens a trio of mummies. The kids then give Libby a makeover to resemble the queen, which finally subdues the mummies. The episode ends with them sneaking back into class—only to be busted by a wide-awake Miss Fowl.

Did we miss a version of the transcript? Do you have a recording of the 1964 radio drama that used this line? Contact our archive. I meant, uh… the bathroom

Queen Hasabataslapya is a key figure in the episode, despite never appearing alive. According to Jimmy’s watch translator, she died at just and cursed her tomb to bring eternal punishment on anyone who disturbs it. Her name is a playful pun on the phrase “How’s about I slap ya?” Her tomb has been undisturbed for over 3,000 years, and her appearance is identical to Libby’s, leading the gang to believe Libby is her descendant. She is a direct parody of real-world figures like King Tutankhamun , the young pharaoh who died at 19 and whose tomb was famously discovered in 1922.

"FOUR! That’s the fourth time today. Someone hand me the superglue—the waterproof one, not the cheap pyramid stuff."

10!